Procrastination

I seem to have hit a brick wall with my dissertation proposal. It's not that I don't know what I need to edit or add, or that I don't have new sources and articles to add into my literature review (because I do--on all accounts). It's that all I want to do is be at home with my kiddos just hanging out, enjoying summer. 

I used to love my little carrel in the library. It's tiny, but it has always been a nice place for me to escape to on campus and get my writing done. I kind of dislike coming to the library now. 

I'm a procrastinator...always have been, probably always will be. I'm doing everything but working on my proposal today. I've organized my binder for my last class (which had to be done since the class meets on Monday), I've made hotel reservations for when I go to the NASP Public Policy Institute in Washington, D.C. in July, made a list of what to pack for my daughter and I for her first Girl Scout Camp experience this weekend, and browsed the world of social media. 

I've hit a wall. I'm tired. Tired of writing. Tired of being in the world of academia. Tired of feeling like I'm straddling the wall of adulthood (by being in grad school and having my family; not to mention almost all of my friends live in the "real" world and I feel lost). 

I know this will pass, and I will get my energy back and blast through my writing. It's how the process goes for me, but it's tough being in this stage of the process. The thing is...if I can get through my proposal, I know that it won't be as bad getting through the rest of my dissertation. I will start to enjoy my work again when I start gathering my data and creating my coding and running my analyses. I know it, but I can't seem to make my brain understand. 

Today feels like a Monday. Maybe tomorrow I will be productive like I was on Tuesday. :)